Archive for October, 2009
Magically Delicious!
Monday, October 26th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
A few weeks ago over a conversation with a friend I was expressing the desire to be in a theatrical production. I felt joyful and inspired by the idea of getting to perform in a play, especially something funny. I scoured Nowcasting and Actors Access on a daily basis for the following week looking for theater castings. After complaining that theater castings in LA have come few and far between lately and that I hadn’t done any theater in almost two years I came across two breakdowns. One was for a comedy play at the Write/Act Repertory in Hollywood and another for “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” at the Sierra Madre Playhouse. I submitted to both and I auditioned for both. I did not get a call back for the Write/Act Repertory, but I received a call from the director of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” offering me one of the “Church Lady” parts. He wasn’t sure exactly which one yet, but he would let me know in a few days. At first I was miffed because I auditioned for one the leads and the Church ladies barely say anything according to the Actors Access breakdown that was posted. I was actually worried I’d been offered a part as a theatrical extra, because I hadn’t read the play and was unfamiliar with all the characters. I accepted anyway, because I’m practicing this Taoist idea of “going with the flow.” Perhaps I should have done more research for auditioning, eh? Then I realized I was being pretty ungrateful. The very next morning after feeling this way the e-mail Quote of the Day I received was “Better to light one small candle than curse at the darkness” – Chinese Proverb. That really put me in my place! That got me thinking about the saying “There are no small parts, only small actors”. I kept saying that to myself over the next few days. Last Friday the director called and said he wanted me to do the part of Mrs. Armstrong. I replied “of course, no problem.” After I hung up the phone it dawned on me Mrs. Armstrong isn’t one of the Church Ladies per se…she’s actually somewhat of a villain in the play, a control freak that breaks her leg and is unable to direct the Christmas Pageant, but still wants to put her two cents in from her hospital bed. Last night we did a table read, which is the first time I got to see Mrs. Armstrong’s lines. I get into the 3rd paragraph of her lines, on page 11 of play and she says “And I tell them, there are no small parts, only small actors” Whoah, that’s trippy, and an example of how my life is magically delicious. My first rehearsal is this coming Thursday. Opening night is the day after Thanksgiving. I will post more details later!
The Psychology of Acting
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Really, someone should write a book about it. There might be some behavior/thought patterns that a lot of actor’s share when they are auditioning. I’m still trying to get over the ones that torture me sometimes. I had an audition a couple days ago, a long wait open call sort of thing for a non-paid play. Lots of nervous actors waiting around, some sitting on the couches and chairs in the waiting rooms, some standing in the hallway like statues and a couple pacing around outside rehearsing the material, which included me. I can’t sit the entire waiting time, it drains my energy and feeds my anxiety. I felt pretty confident, took some time to develop a character and soak in the material. There was about a 45minute to 1hour wait. The director called in people in pairs so they can read off each other. I got paired off with an older lady. We read for the same part. My understanding was there were a lot of female parts, but everyone auditioning was reading for the same part, then would be called in to read for a specific part at the call back. The director asked us each about one credit on our resume and told us to keep up the pace, and not be taking our sweet time reading the stage directions and leave him waiting. I guess a lot of actors were doing this, I don’t get it. But why was he complaining about the other actors to us right before we went into a scene? He certainly didn’t seem like he was enjoying himself. So I did my thing. I thought I did well. The director said “great’ then asked if I was available for callbacks and if day or evening would be better. He sure did make it sound like we both had callbacks. But I didn’t hear back. So then comes the psychology. I start saying all sorts of things to myself like “maybe the callbacks were postponed”, “maybe I booked it without a callback”, maybe, maybe, maybe! Trying to stay positive right? It might actually drive you crazy I think. Then the “why didn’t I get a callback?”, “Could I have done something different to get a callback or book that project?” Not to mention going over the scene in my head about 10 times after the audition is over, like I’m still rehearsing it. WTF? I know it’s hard to just leave the audition and forgettaboutit. But it’s like, this is my passion, this is important to me, opportunities to perform breathes life into me and then there’s the audition process that can be so jacked up. At least I had fun performing for those few minutes, whatever the outcome was. Now I just have to keep practicing to break the insane questioning and worrying and anxiety about the whole process. Yeah, so easy. Right. Someday I will be the Zen Auditioner. Maybe that would be a better book for someone to write.
Here’s a great article on the pains of auditioning from Leslie Mann’s veiw point. http://theinneractor.com/607/leslie-mann-audition-anxiety-and-rude-people/ I love this excerpt “I remember the people who were rude and dismissive; I would watch the TV show or movie they cast, and it was always a piece of shit. Always. And the people who responded to me or were kind to actors, they always made the good stuff. So when people are being assholes, you might as well not waste your time and walk away..” I should ingrain that into my head, it will help me get over the rude, pointless auditions in the future.
I have another comedy Christmas Play audition this coming Monday and I already feel like “why bother, you didn’t even get a callback for the first one?” Ridiculous, I know. Of course I’ll show up and do my best while trying to make that stupid little voice in my head just shut the F up.
Cheers!!
Holy Shit, I’ve been thinking about Horror Movies.
Monday, October 12th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
I’ve been processing my last blog and have accepted it as a call to action. I purchased a book on screen writing which I will finish reading this month and brainstorming ideas on a low budget horror film. I have something very dark and scary that happened to a close friend a couple years ago that left me deeply affected and scarred to this day (as well as scared). I am not going to share details because I honor her memory, nor do I want to recreate that story. There are elements I want to use, certain elements that border on paranormal activities which at the time they occurred I just ignored that they happened. They were too eerie to accept as reality. There are some things the mind cannot accept, and whether or not what it sees is just manifestation/illusion/hallucination is unprovable. When you are alone and unexplained things happen, you’re the only one judging your own sanity. Call it whatever you want. It was real for me and completely unexplainable. I’m going to keep pursuing this.
Today I was surfing the internet reading the headline news and I come across an article regarding a horror movie that was made in 2007 called Paranormal Activity . Quite Coincidental. I even know the lead actor, Micah Sloat. Took a Groundlings class with him a few years ago, gave him a ride one night after school. Really nice guy. I’ve definately been proven wrong that low budget can break through again like Blair Witch Project did. In fact, it’s pretty clear that more movies like that can definately make it. And for Micah, this is his first IMDB credit, with his popularity going up over %1,000 percent today. Things can happen fast, and where you were a year ago as an actor can be drastically different a year from now. Sticking around, right place right time, preparation meeting opportunity, synchronicity. Congratulations, Micah!
Update on other acting matters:
I auditioned for My Little Pony/Hasbro last week at John McCarthy casting. Far cry from Horror. Call backs are today and tomorrow. I have not been invited as of yet. I signed back up on Nowcasting.com a few weeks ago after a few year hiatus. Today I have an audition for a comedy Christmas play (equity waiver). I plan to have fun at that! And that is that.
What to do when nothing is happening? A lot of Questions.
Thursday, October 1st, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
What a great question. Wish I had all the answers so I could answer that question for myself. It’s really hard hearing about all the auditions, callbacks and bookings other people are getting. Comparison is always a trap, I know. But how do I get the little voice inside my head to stop saying, “they’re doing it, you should be doing it, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be doing it.” I’m not doing it, so what are the reasons? What are the secret cosmic brutal reasons that “The Secret” is not working for me. I feel good, I believe, I feel as if I’m there, I take actions, I put myself out there and here are the results for the past 5 months or so; nothing, nothing and some more nothing. But from nothing everything is possible, right? How come I’ve never been able to enjoy or learn how to enjoy nothing. Why is hard to enjoy all parts of the journey? Am I a freak? I’m waiting for Godot, I am. I am self submitting on all the casting wesbistes; nowcasting, lacasting and actorsaccess. I sent out postcards for my last booking to all the casting directors. I’m attending a scene study class. I’ve been doing casting director workshops at reelpros since last April. I keep asking what else can I do? Some folks in my life keep suggesting I produce something myself. I keep resisting. Then I resist some more. I have a lot of excuses and I can’t hide from them anymore. Damnit! What’s producing something for myself going to do if it’s a piece of crap anyway? Why do I think what I will make will be crap? Aren’t the internet and movie festivals already inundated with all kinds of craptastic projects? What makes me want to jump into that gigantic pool now? Why do I feel so uncreative and like such an asshole? What the hell is my vision and goal as an artist? Why do I keep going to casting director workshops and spending my hard earned cash when it is not bearing fruit? Is it bearing future fruit in the future I am not aware of? Is there something I don’t know that I don’t know? What do I need to start doing, and what do I need to stop doing? Do the choices I make actually change the course of things? What are the variables I can be in control of that I haven’t taken responsibility for? Am I just a repugnant ogre that repels success? Who said that? How much longer should I give my new agent? Why is she taking 3 months to choose photos from my last photo shoot? What planet are we on? Seriously?
I’m thinking, I’m thinking…
