Archive for August, 2009
Falling down and some Spamalot.
Friday, August 14th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
It was one of those grumpy days when you forget to be thankful for what you have but rather dwell on everything you don’t yet have, as if when you get all that, you will not have anything new to be grumpy about. You’ll be perfectly happy for the rest of your life, never a dull or bad moment. Anyway, I was in the grump walking from the parking garage to work on freshly “cleaned” streets of downtown LA. I came to 7th and Hope and waiting for the walk sign. On the other side of the street I saw an Asian lady handing out Christian Evangelical propaganda. She was standing right in the middle of the corner. The light changed and I was determined to avoid her, so I walked really fast hoping to fake her out by starting to pass her on the left then change directions and pass on the right. The sidewalk was sloped down towards me and my shoes were wet from walking on the other side of the street. I slipped with my right foot as if I was on ice and landed full force on my left knee. Asian lady was shocked and asked if I was ok. I gave her a really toothy big grin and walked away. Sort of walked. I wondered if Jesus was punishing me for not taking the literature. I hobbled off towards the building entrance which was only 25 feet away, while holding my head high trying to pretend my knee cap didn’t feel like someone just took a baseball bat to it. I was a bit in denial that I fell on the street doing nothing more than just walking, trying to avoid a religious pamphlet hander-outer.
I don’t know myself to be a klutz. This was a difficult moment. Then I suddenly got really nauseous. This happens to me when I injure myself, don’t ask why. I limped through the lobby of my office building and got on the elevator. The nausea came on really strong. The doors opened on floor 25, I wobbled and dragged my leg to the bathroom. Thank goodness the bathroom was empty. I sat down on the toilet and lifted my pant leg to see the carnage. Holy shit. A complete mess, but my pants did not get torn. I sat there and felt angry and sad about myself for about 2 minutes, let out a tear or two for good measure. I haven’t been to the Dr. for an xray, but it has been a full week now and I can pretty much walk without a limp or any pain now. I know myself to be a healer, and I don’t like Doctors. So far, so good.
I took my bruised knee to see Spamalot last night at the Ahmanson theatre with my boyfriend. I sat in the balcony, 3 rows from the very last row. I didn’t realize how nose bleed my seat was until I sat down and saw people in the section looking through binoculars. The show was very funny and well performed. I was watching it like a kid at the candy store, kept seeing myself up there. It looked like so much fun, and it has been so long since I’ve done any theater. Every time I would focus on one of the actors on stage questions would pop in my head “What did they do to get up there? What was their audition like? How long have they been doing this? Why am I not up there? Why don’t I have the career I want? Why am I still working a day job? How long is it going to take me? Why can’t I have it now?” (See first few sentences of this blog post). You catch my drift. Sometimes I was not focused on that stuff and just enjoying the show. I knew I couldn’t be up there right then and there because I was still limping and couldn’t do any of the dance routines. Ha! As if that was the only barrier holding me back. Onward! I will be grateful when my leg is 100% back and that I can’t wait to be in another theatrical production!!
Depressing Times or Times of Great Opportunity?
Monday, August 10th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
A snail moves faster than the entertainment industry right now. Blessed are the ones who are established and working! Some of the points discussed during the bitch session of my acting class last night were; 1) The SAG AFTRA mess 2) the sharp plummet in number of pilots being made 3) the plummet in work generally, leading top actors to take guest-star and even co-star television roles. After hearing my acting teacher talk about the changes that have happened and are happening, I can’t help but think “holy shit, I’m crazy to be in this right now.” But that’s really not true for me. I’m in it because I am being true to my passions. Doing something else would leave me feeling unfulfilled. I’m making it about the journey, because arriving at the destination is not the end-all-be-all. Realistically, it may take a while for things to straighten out, but I’ll be here, ready. To paint a picture of current conditions, he stated 10 years ago a national commercial would earn an actor 70 to 80K in a year. Today you’re lucky if you get 10K. A few years ago, pilot season in Hollywood meant hundreds of pilots were being made, last year there were about 35. The execs (I’d like to call it “The Man”) have figured out how to cut their costs, get around the unions, and devalue actors. He suggested a current trend of web series production instead of pilots, because pilots are a big money risk/cost and web series can be a guaranteed profit if you find sponsors/advertising. It blows my mind that there are two competing unions that are progressively devaluing actors as time goes on. Aftra is winning more and more contracts. Actors who are doing any work they can get and therefore working under contracts of both unions, are not making enough to earn pension or health insurance because their earnings are split between two unions. That is insanity. A lot of things definately are changing. The entire landscape of the entertainment industry is changing. Actors basically have to adjust with it or find something else to do. It’s pretty funny how some people glamorize pretty much anybody who’s in Hollywood “acting.” It’s harder and tougher than anyone can imagine, but I seem unable to stop, like some kind of addict. I’m ok being one these “crazies.” Wink, wink.
PS – Writer of the last movie I auditioned for read my last blog and posted good luck. That is so cool! Best of luck to the Touristers Project and J.P. Linde!
It’s August. Time to book something.
Monday, August 3rd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Auditions. Why I get so nervous before some auditions and not others doesn’t really make sense. Sometimes I can’t control the firing between my nerve synapses. I had a couple of auditions last week. One for a movie called the “Touristers” and one for a Cartoon Network show on Adult swim. The second one was a breeze. The first one for “Touristers” drove me bonkers. Why? Because I had to prepare a two minute comedic monologue. Very torturous. Haha! It’s hard enough doing a read with a casting director or reader that’s giving you nothing… try doing a two minute monologue to someone giving you a blank stare the whole time while judging you. So I picked a monologue where I would be talking on the phone, avoiding the whole staring at casting person. Turned out I was doing it to the camera also, so it wasn’t so bad after all. Perhaps I have made a break through in my audition monologue phobia. I felt I wasn’t old enough for the part, but what I think doesn’t really matter most of the time. Call backs aren’t until September, so I’ll file that one away in the “Don’t think about it anymore” file. In fact all auditions should go into that file once I walk out of the room, but it is always easier said than done!
Yesterday I was scheduled for my first casting director workshop since coming back from vacation in July. I got there and everything was locked and closed. I got all pissed off because I thought I wasn’t contacted, but turns out an e-mail was sent Friday night that it was canceled. Lesson, check your e-mails even on the weekend, save yourself some gas money. There’s no escaping modern technology, even on the weekends. There’s one coming up this Wednesday with Dan Shaner, please don’t cancel, ok?
Last night I re watched “What the bleep do we know.” I’m going to integrate more Quantum Physics into my acting career. Don’t ask me to explain. Watch the movie. Haha!
