Lidia Ryan, Actress Extraordinaire

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Who reads this shit anyway? I pour my heart out with experiences and advice and do not know if it’s landing anywhere for anybody in any kind of useful way. I can’t tell by the comments I receive because most of the ones I receive are spam. Haha. But do I care who’s reading it? All I can do is carry on if I enjoy doing it whenever I get around to it. I have not written in a really long time by my standards. OK. Now that I’m done bitching about something that may or may not be meaningless, I’ll catch you (whoever you are) up on what’s going on. I’m working really hard on my focus. That means always keeping in mind the specific ideal that I want to achieve. I am consciously being grateful every step of the way. I’ve been reading a couple of books having to do with mental work and achieving goals using the Law of Attraction. One is called The Master Key System by Charles Haanel and the other is The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles.  Both are books written in the early 1900s and influenced the movie and book The Secret, which you may or may not have seen. Whether or not you thought that movie was cheesy, these books I mention are extremely powerful and deal a lot with spirituality. I’ve realized it takes a lot of work to keep up a constructive/creative attitude. I’ve been working on it every day for the last couple months. I recommend you try it, or at least as an experiment see what difference it has made for me over the reminder of this year. I absolutely love studying philosophy/spirituality/psychology. What you learn from it and what you take on/acquire as beliefs has the power to change not only who you are, but where you are and what you have. It’s like a wonderful adventure through life, that keeps changing and stays exciting.

Yesterday was one of those great days when you can say “when it rains it pours.” It was not only a busy day at work but I had a call back and 2 auditions. The callback was for Tele2 a Swedish telecommunications company commercial that is filming in Sweden at the end of August (Danielle Eskinazi Casting). I also went in for a “Confidential” commercial (Alyson Horn Casting) and an ESPN promo audition (Francene Selkirk/Shooting From the Hip Casting). My main focus right now is for acting profits to grow exponentially, that my main source of abundant income is acting.

I’m also very excited about my trip to Serbia at the end of July and 1st half of August. I get to see and spend time with mom, dad, and lots of other relatives. I’ll be doing a couple of short side trips, Greece and Slovenia. I’m also keeping in my vision a visit to Sweden as well, for the Tele2 commercial shoot. Wink, wink.

Auditions are swirling in my head.  The self imposed pressure and drive wears me down.   I’m continually working on letting go after I walk out of that room.  I did the best I can.  I learn along the way, soak up little clues about how I could prepare better each time, bring the words to life – just live in that world while I’m in front of the camera.  While I can’t book everything, I will work again.  My new mantra is I don’t need everybody’s approval, not even anybody’s.  That seems to remove the constriction, the worry that I’m being judged. Then I can just be free to express and explore moment by moment and that’s the sort of thing that actually attracts approval.  Funny that.  I’m tired of the know-it-alls who can’t see their version of the “facts” is only true from their own perspective, and not everyone else’s. “You see the world not as it is, but as you are.”  I will choose and create who I am.  I’m tired of the pompous and over inflated egos.  I’m over the bull shit.  I don’t need them or their approval.  Onward.

Here’s the latest Project.  I thought a lot of the funny stuff was chopped because they had to fit in all the tags and coupon info. Oh Well. Cheers!

I just read a letter to actors about the current state of show business by James J. Jones, of The Premier Talent Group  http://markatteberry.blogspot.com/ According to Mr. Jones, I  fit into the category of  “developmental or sometimes working” actor.  Apparently,  it is the most  not happening and unwanted group to be in the last couple of years.  It may come as no surprise that if you are in this group, finding representation, specifically theatrical representation, has been quite a challenge.  Agents and Casting Directors don’t have the time to take chances.   The top names, and working actors are cycling through the majority of the work and leaving us out.  This reality may cause an actor to want to yell “Bull Shit” and perhaps find another line of work -  at least the actor that is not determined and willing to persevere through the lean times.   Here’s what to do; be patient, get a life, work on your craft.  You’ll be ready when opportunity comes again, assuming the current condition is not permanent as the letter maintains.  Knowing this now, I’m very grateful I did an under 5 on a Comedy Central Pilot about a month ago.  I wonder what pilot season would have looked like or should I say will look like when the trickle down casting subsides and the flood gates for the “developmental or sometimes working” category.  It’s a soothing thought for the ambitious.  I would not have come across this article had I not been on Twitter, therefore I have come to the conclusion that Twitter is proving to be a useful tool in my journey.  I think it’s wise to research and follow what’s  going on in the business side of things so we can plan accordingly and keep our sanity.   After all, sanity walks a fine line in Hollywood.  Falling into a funk is easy on a slippery slope.

All right, here’s a ramble.  My brain is kind of numb today and I don’t know what to do with myself.   It’s been a slow couple weeks, but wait,  I can breathe – isn’t that nice?  Maybe, I dunno, sometimes I think I feel more secure when things are crazy insane busy, or maybe not crazy, just a little bit more steady.  The last audition I went on was for a Web Series called “It’s Always Smoggy in LA.”  That was a couple of weeks ago.  Last Friday I got called by the Producer/Writer would really like to put me in an episode but doesn’t know which one yet.  Hey that’s cool!!  I’m going to go join him and some other cast members this evening for a read through of some new material (comedy sketches).  They are planning on Shooting in May so I look forward to that.

It’s March now and I’ve booked something each month so far this year, yeah I know March is only the 3rd month, but I intend to work each month this year.  Yeah I’m aiming high baby!  This is a record for me, a true breakthrough and I’m very happy about it.  When an actor finally makes a big jump in their booking ratio, it feels wonderful.  It is the Year of the Tiger(Chinese Astrology), after all. My goal is to work consistently enough to have the financial stability in order to not need a “day job.”   Thinking of that day makes me drool a little bit on my keyboard.  Yesterday I had a voice over audition for Sealy Posturpedic Mattresses.  That was interesting and a first because I had to record the audition myself, edit it and e-mail my agent a MP3 to forward to the Sealy People.  That just goes to show how important it is for a Voice Over artist to have their own recording equipment at home.  I really wish the Minnesota State Lottery Commercial I auditioned for a couple of months ago would have chosen to cast like that, it would have saved at least a dozen actors tons of driving to the Audition,  1st and 2nd call backs.  I calculated that I drove close to 100 miles for those three times they called me in to hear my voice but not cast me.   Hey, can’t you tell whose voice you like after the first time?  But what do I know? Thanks for calling me in!  Wink, wink.  There’s something to be said about GREEN casting.  I hope it catches on.   Luckily, my boyfriend has SoundForge and a good MIC that he lets me use.  Thanks, baby.

Currently I’m reading “What’s Holding You Back” by Sam Horn.  I’m on page 74.  So far it’s all about having the courage and confidence to get out there and do what you want and develop the communication and social skills to meet people that can make a difference.  Networking, right… something I do not feel like I am very successful at.  I’ll keep reading the book and tell you if I’ve had any breakthroughs.  I do think it’s a great book though, even if you think nothing is holding you back, you might be surprised that there might be something that actually is.  What people have a hard time understanding is it’s not what’s going on around you that’s at fault, it’s the thoughts inside your head that are nothing but patterns of synapses firing, keeping you down.  “You” keeping you down. Yeah, I love that shit.  You can change your choice of actions, and different actions can lead to different results.  Pay close attention to what Pablo Picasso said, he wasn’t joking – “Action is the foundational key to all success.”  You can’t sit there waiting for something to happen to you.  You have to DO to BE and to HAVE.  Yeah that idea is primarily from Landmark Education.  I will not go into that, you have Google to do your own investigating.

Well, I’m ready for a juicy National Commercial Audition,  a Pilot/Episodic Co-Star and a Feature Film Audition.  Knock Knock!!!

12 days between blogs, not that bad but I’d like to update more often and share what’s going on.  I’m not sure how many actors or other folks have checked out my blog.  I really am hoping that some actors who are starting out or are somewhere else along their journey can get some useful tidbits about what it takes and what it’s like to be an actor in Los Angeles, at least from my point of view and my journey.  I have to say again that It’s been a wonderful start to 2010 and that I’m very grateful.  The last few weeks, however, have brought  episodes of anxiety, almost like a feeling of doom, heart palpitations, tightness in the chest on various occasions  after exercise, or even when I was sitting around doing nothing.  Yes, I have addressed it with a Doctor.  The ECG I had at Urgent Care at Kaiser last Thursday and all else says the ticker is just fine.  Such drama, I know!  I’m not a hypochondriac, I swear.  It’s better to be safe than sorry and get yourself checked out, right? Absolutely.  It’s more like I’m driving myself to develop these symptoms because I’m putting myself under so much pressure.  You see, I’m an expert at that, someone who finished their Master’s Degree in 4.5 years total in College, that’s another story…  Today I read a perfect quote to address the state of mind I’ve found myself in the last couple of weeks,  “Relax and enjoy life. Know that whatever you need is revealed to you in the perfect time space sequence.” via Twitter @LouiseHay . Exactly.  When I am at peace and in action, enjoying the moment and enjoying my life things just flow and keep happening. Some how I fell out of that zone.   I think it’s only natural to have highs and lows. The ridiculous thing that has happened because the successes have piled up, is that I’ve subconsciously chosen to “freak out” about it.  Sounds to me like a form of subconscious self-sabotage.  Now I can’t be having any of that.  I’m coming up on my 9 year anniversary in Los Angeles this coming March 1st.  I didn’t struggle this long and bust my butt so hard to start having anxiety/panic attacks about success and what’s next on the Horizon. Just Breathe. Out, damn self doubt!  You know, William Shakespeare had a lot of brilliant quotes, one of which is “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt”  So, let me move on from the drama and recap auditions and activities since my last blog entry.

February 10
Edwards Lava Cake Audition at Pamela Starks Casting.
I thought it went really well,  I have no idea when Call Backs are!

February 17 – 2 auditions
Texting While Driving PSA at Francine Selkirk Casting.
I don’t know how it went and I’ll leave it at that.

Cox Cable Commercial Audition at Susan Turner Casting
I rocked this.  Had to memorize about 7 lines and improvise, while still making sure I included the memorized lines.  I really let go and trusted myself on this one.  Susan, the casting director, clapped when I was done.  She has been calling me in again and again, I love her!  I didn’t even get a callback for this one.  Hahahah!!! In my defense, they were looking for a “Queen Latifah” type character and also called in a lot of African American ladies.  So most likely they did not go for the skinny white chicks.  And that is OK.

Last Friday I researched the 44 casting directors on my target list from my 2010 Goal sheet and started a fresh new casting director label sheet.  I also included casting directors that are currently casting feature films. The total number comes to 77 -  post cards were mailed out on Friday, mentioned the Under 5 booking on “Jon Benjamin Has a Van.” Pilot.  I’m intending to get in on some more Pilot Season Action! YEAH.  Tonight is my last class in ongoing Fundamentals at Margie Haber Studios.  I’ve signed up for the Intermediate Fundamentals Intensive starting in late March.  That should continue to polish my “A” game.

Now back to breathing and thinking about nothing.

There’s only one thing I can say about being on a roll so far in 2010.  KEEP IT COMING.  I’m working at not losing the energy and momentum I’ve come to.  Not sure exactly what to do but I do have faith that I can keep moving things along.  I’ve been averaging about 2 to 3 auditions the last couple of weeks.  Most recently I went on a Six Flags, Telenor (Swedish Bank), and Edwards(chocolate lava cake) audition.  I also went on a co-star audition for 90210 on February 1st.  Last Friday, Feb 5, I was getting that “feeling” I was going to hear from my agent regarding a booking.  I was totally thinking “90210″, but instead it was a direct booking for 5 and under on a Comedy Central Pilot called “Jon Benjamin Has a Van.”  I had auditioned for the same Producer, Clark Reinking, last August for a different cable sketch comedy show and I guess I did a good enough job to be remembered.  Yes, that is a good thing.  My call time last night was 7pm, and I was wrapped by 7:45pm.  It was sweet!  I sent out postcards a couple of weeks ago to mention the Papa Murphy’s Pizza and Nature’s Path Organic Bread bookings, and now I have another reason to send out postcards to theatrical casting directors.  I want in on some more Pilot Season Action!!! Let’s go February!  2010 is beaming with possibilities.  It feels good to be where I am and doing what I’m doing.  I’ve also joined a different gym a couple weeks ago and have been going on average 3 times per week.  Juggling the dayjob/auditioning/shooting/gym/life has been quit a trip.  I’m very groggy and cranky today because I had to drink coffee last night to keep my self “on” during the shoot.  Luckily it ended so early, but I slept like crap and had a tough time getting through work today and an audition this morning.  Tough?  I would like to tell my self  “suck it up and go take a nap, keep it moving!”  Haha.

Ok, I’ve become part of a weekly actor’s business meeting and I have a lot of work to do.  I did this “Type Sheet” in order to get a grasp of what types of roles I am good for, will book etc.  I’m going by what I have booked, what I enjoy booking, and what I tend to go out for on auditions.  I think I am in the right ball park and not pigeon holing myself too much, but this is a start I guess.  Any feedback or suggestions is greatly appreciated.

Top five actors I see myself Patterning

1. Tina Fey – 30 Rock
2. Patricia Heaton – Everyone Love’s Raymond
3. Calista Flockhart – Ally McBeal
4. Audrey Hepburn – My Fair Lady
5. Sandra Bullock – The Proposal

Other Actors I see myself emulating in someway

1. Lucille Ball
2. Madeline Kahn
3. Catherine O’Hara
4. Carol Burnett
5. Joan Cusack

Five Types I see myself booking

1. Mother
2. Funny Geek (Secretary)
3. Stern Goofy (Librarian)
4. Lawyer
5. Best Friend

Adjective List

Intelligent                            Funny                          Responsible

Strong                                    Goofy                           Wacky

Ambitious                             Silly                              Mysterious

Determined                          Unique                         Harsh

Stern                                        Driven                         Trustworthy

Thin                                          Pensive                       Tenacious

Courageous                           Pretty                         Fun

Classic                                     Loyal                           Child-like

Aspirational                          Bossy

Sweet                                       Sarcastic

Cute                                         Organized

Witty                                        Obsessive

Confident                                Dependable

After juggling so much the week of the Nature’s Path Bread commercial I got really run down and sick.  Monday through Thursday of the following week I only had my day job to deal with, so I got some rest, other than the Birthday Party I went to on Monday night where I perhaps drank a little more wine than I should have.  If anyone is prone to burning their candle on both ends, it is moi.  By Thursday morning, I knew I needed medication so I called the Dr and picked up a prescription.  Thursday night I got a call from ITA that I have 2 call backs for Papa Murphy’s Pizza on Friday.  That meant they wanted to see me for the role I originally auditioned for as well as another role for a different spot, they were shooting 3 different spots.  I spent 3 hours at callbacks.  I wore the same shirt that was chosen for the Nature’s Path Shoot, because it fit the role and I decided it must be “good luck.”  The first role was for a part of a wife, the second a librarian/nerdy book club lady.  My agent called me at 2:00 pm to tell me I was on avail for Papa Murphy’s  Pizza and that I had an audition for a Sit and Sleep commercial tomorrow, Tuesday.  I felt swept up into busy-ness again!  Not only busy-ness but some kind of break through in where I’m at as an actor, as if critical mass has been reached and things are just going to flow.  One hour later Sharon called back, to tell me that I had booked the commercial.  I was so grateful and happy to have booked and worked a job at the beginning of the year and now I had booked another one for the month of January.  So excellent!  Perseverance has always been the key for me, as well as commitment to learn and get better and better at the auditioning process and art of acting itself.  I do not know when the shoot is yet, as it is scheduled 1/19 to 1/21, so I don’t even know if I will be able to attend the Sit and Sleep Audition.  I will probably find out when I go to the fitting this afternoon.